A Letter to My Son. RE: “What We Do”

Dear Isaac,

Today, I took you to the place that I used to work at for the two years before you came home to us. So many of my former co-workers have become great friends of mine. Most of them prayed for you throughout our adoption journey. And many of them have been there for you in so many ways… sometimes in person and always in spirit.

You had a wonderful time visiting with them. They all loved on you and admired your growth and gentle nature. It was a most pleasant visit. And as always, Mommy was so proud to show off her special boy.

As we visited these friends, I was often asked questions about what I was doing with my days now that I am no longer working. And I found these questions difficult to answer. See, many Mommies either have to or choose to work during the day. And your Mommy chose to stay home with you. Neither choice is right or wrong. The best choice is the choice that is “right” for that person. And for Mommy, the best choice was to stay home and to raise you.

However, when people choose to work, they are often used to the idea of “doing something” that produces results that can be seen or quantified. They might answer a question such as “What have you been up to?” by answering something like, “Well, my team just completed this new project here that has now saved the company over $30,000. And I am now working on creating a new filing system that I just learned about at the conference I attended in Reno.” Or sometimes they might defer to their personal life and say something like, “Well, my daughter just made the softball team so we have been attending alot of games. And we just began construction on a new living room. Oh yeah, and Justin made honor roll.” These answers are all perfectly fine. It is just that you & Mommy can’t answer those questions in quite the same ways. That is why I find these questions hard to answer.

Here are a few ways in which I answered some questions about what we do with our days:
” Oh, we mostly just hang out outside and play with the chickens, read books, and drive around on the four-wheeler…. things like that.”
” Yeah, we don’t come into town too often, we mostly just enjoy our family, friends and one another. We visit them and they visit us.”
” We love to dance and sing and go for walks. Sometimes I do a little sewing.”
” Isaac loves to hang out with his pets and prefers being outside and dancing in the grass while talking to the sky. Sometimes we throw rocks in the pond down the street. Isaac loves that.”

Most of the time, people think I am a little nutty when I give these answers. But the truth is, that is how we enjoy our lives. We live very simple lives and YOU LOVE IT! You rather play in mud puddles than play with toys. You rather sing and dance than watch tv. You would stay outside all day long and simply play with the grass and rocks. And you are SO incredibly happy. One can just see it in how secure you are with yourself and with your place in the world.

And another truth is, Mommy has never been so sure of anything in her life as she is now … I am absolutely sure that what I am doing now … by gently guiding you through your days … is the greatest, most profound and rewarding experience I have ever had. And that although I may not be able to speak of our experiences in terms of “results” or “accomplishments”, I know that the way that we gently move through our days … going wherever the spirit moves us … and doing whatever feels good at that moment … is going to achieve the most incredible result of all – your self-fulfillment & contentment.

So, though I may often feel at a loss for words to explain just what it is that we do with our days … I am happy for that. Put most simply, we spend our days enjoying ourselves, our world and one another. (I will remember that the next time that someone asks me!)

With all my love … and looking forward to a simple, gentle & loving day tomorrow ….

Your Mommy

Jodi Renshaw

About Jodi Renshaw

Jodi is a homeschooling Mom, a photographer, a wife, and a proud resident of the city of Bangor. She spends part of her time working at a locally-owned shop in the downtown area, part of her time homeschooling her favorite young man, and most of her time behind a camera lens. She often writes about adoption, family life, homeschooling, and community.